Pathfinder: The New Age of Haven

Episode 33: Orcs are super friendly

And we’re back motherfuckers!

The scene opens on Morcastle and the Phoenix Risen inn and boozery, present day. The door opens and in strides Karin Brown. She looks around the common room and gets a nod from the barkeep as she meets his gaze. She sits down at the bar and puts her masterwork broadsword down next to her.

“Hows business, Finch?” Karin asks, absent mindedly and holds up one finger, ordering a cup.

“Overbearing, as usual.” Finch mutters as he goes about pouring her drink. “Water still?” She nods “You are quite boring.”

“Yes well.” She drinks it down in one. “Things have quietened down since the gang left. Theres nothing to do here.”

Finch nods “Just how I like it. Altough business has taken a dive since charlotte left.”

“I dont think she even paid for any of her drinks.” Finch suddenly realizes “Oh well. Boss’s booze.”

They sit there in silence for a moment before Karin announces, “I have my duties here, I know, but I do wish I could go with them. Instead of playing guard here… Who would even try to hurt this business? Those people are heroes in this kingdom.”

Finch merely shrugs “Jovask is still out there you know.” He spits into a cup and polishes it. “Last I heard, Sarah disappeared. She was the trump card to that whole situation.”

“Heard?” Karin smirks “You hear more than most. Do you know where she went?”

Finch shrugs “She was gone by the time they left the city. Boss didn’t mention her. Mr Cartwright might have plans for that. He always seems to do.”

Karin nods slowly. “That man is destined for greatness. I can feel it.”

Finch grins “Ah, the oath sworn follower. Yeah I didnt figure Cartwright for the romantic type.”

Karin screws up her face and shakes her head.

Karin sits in silence for a moment, staring at Finchs information gathering in action. His informants showing up for drinks, slipping notes under their mugs as Finch cleans up. Seems he has this spy network all sorted out.

Finch finally speaks up. “I know Ianthe is missed atleast. We even have those pilgrims stopping by here now and then, hoping to catch her.”

Karin nods. “That oracle sure has made a reputation around here.”

“I think the half-man is the least battle tested of the gang.” Finch remarks.

Karin shakes her head. “I’ve seen him in battle, its very…chaotic. He will do fine.” Finch looks confused for a moment, Karin merely mentions, “He’s fond of eagles.”

Karin stares outside, looking at the guardsmen patrolling and daydreaming of adventure. “Oh.” She remarks without enthusiasm. “Looks like its going to rain.”


On the outskirts of a Dornari village. The rain is pouring down on a gang of adventurers huddled together in some foliage.

We approached the burning village warily and, thanks to Paulinus’s advanced scouting, we managed to avoid the orc patrols on the roads. We stashed the horse and wagon close by and out of the way.

Paulinus insisted on scouting the village and seeing what was going on, and before anyone could protest, he was off. Twenty minutes later, he arrives back, sliding into the foliage and shaking the rain from his short blonde hair. “It’s bad…”


Avin and Ianthe survey the fire and the extent of the damage. We cannot see much from where we are, merely the smoking of fire being put out by the rain. The damage we can see if mostly on the big keep near the village. It looks like it has been pummelled by something.

“Bad how?” Asks Avin.

“Orcs?” Asks Horlamin.

Paulinus confirms. “Lot’s.”

Charlotte suggests we leave the fire to the rain and hunt orcs instead.

“They have set up camp in the town. Burned everything…” He pants.
Paulinus grabs Charlotte to stop her from getting up “No yo-” He quickly let’s go as he realizes what he’s doing “- You can’t. There’s way too many.”

“There’s no such thing as ‘too many’.” She responds.

Horlamin casts Mage Armour and Baylen makes sure his pistols are loaded.

Paulinus caresses his shrines. “Maker… You cannot be serious.”

Ianthe Eir mutters quietly in Celestial, “I always knew these people were crazy”, sighs and grabs her staff tighter.

We hear a loud explosion roll through the air and fade off into the distance. Seems to have originated from the village square.

Avin Catson casts Mage armor on himself and checks to make sure he has all his equipment.

Charlotte: “I think that’s our cue to storm in and see what’s what.”

Avin: “What weapons are they using to siege the keep?”

Paulinus: “Canons. The blighters have cannons. At least two.”

Baylen: “Fantastic. Let’s go procure us a couple of cannons.”

Horlamin: “Really, I suspect these are no ordinary orcs.”

Ianthe: “Just… oh nevermind, you won’t listen to me anyways. Just remember my powers to heal have limits too. I would still suggest caution and sneaking instead of running into a huge group of orcs.”

Paulinus nods “They seem better organized than normal orcs..”

Ianthe: “I’m pretty sure you can still stab them to your hearts content.”

Baylen: “I wouldn’t worry too much about healing. If one of us gets hit by a cannonball, just worry about finding enough to bury us.”

Avin can’t remember anything saying orcs ever used cannons in their sieging. Hell, they rarely bothered with siege either way.

Horlamin: “So, someone is using Orcs for their own nefarious purposes.”

Avin comments on this, regardless of if anyone is listening to him.

Charlotte: “So….let’s go release these cannons from their possession? Preferably by removing some heads from some shoulders?”

Horlamin: “I think it would be to our benefit to find out who are leading these orcs. And how they are even able to lead the orcs. Karl, I think you should stay out of this one.”

Karl: “But… Massster, I like eating orcs.”

Horlamin: “Alright, let’s stop a siege!” Charlotte raises her axe in agreement.

Avin reconizes from his knowledge that the weakest part of a cannon is the barrel. If you even dent it slightly, it’s ruined.

Paulinus sighs and checks his gear “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Baylen: “Avin, they must be keeping the powder near the cannons. Feel like I should remind you how flammable that stuff is. It is very flammable.”

Avin nods. “Does anyone mind if I teach the orcs why fire safety is important if I get the chance?”

Paulinus shrugs.

Horlamin: “By all means!”

Ianthe: “Just try not to blow up the whole village. It gets messy.”

Horlamin: “Now, let’s head out. I want to sleep under a roof tonight.”

Charlotte: “Agreed!”

Horlamin: “Maybe even get a warm lunch inside by the fire instead of all these stale rations. Lead the way, Paulinus!”

Baylen: “Let’s see if we can open up a dialogue.”

Horlamin: “With orcs? Are you serious?”

Baylen: “No, it- Forget it. ’Let’s see if we can blow them all the hell up.’ Better?”

“Alright, but don’t say I didnt warn you.” Paulinus sets off, showing the safest way to approach.

Baylen: “If we can get close enough, we should start this off by detonating their powder. A fireball would do the trick.”

Ianthe mutters quietly about crazy people and follows cautiously.

Baylen: “You say that, but you’re still travelling with us. Who’s the crazy one there?” He grins.

Ianthe laughs. “I guess you need someone to patch you up and sweet talk people!”

Avin: “And to patch up collateral damage.”


When we arrive, there are a lot of orcs surrounding a cannon that looks like it has exploded. It explains the explosion we heard."

Avin casts shield on himself and Ianthe casts Bless on us. Charlotte readies her axe.

There are barrels in a nearby tent.

Baylen whispers to Avin. “Try and peg an orc with a fireball while it’s carrying to the cannon. Once you’ve done that, we charge while they’re freaking out about everything exploding.”

Combat begins and we fuck shit up. Not so much in the good way but we’re pulling it back.

We all sit down half way through and have a picnic with the orcs while we wait for next week.

Oh and this happens:

Avin flies up 15 feet further, asking Ser to perform the tactic he’d discussed with him. He casts wall of fire as Ser casts silent image. The silent image takes the effect of a MASSIVE dragon breathing fire at the wall of fire.


AAsama FeliciaSexopants

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